Barn Girls

When I first took my then five-year-old daughter for riding lessons, I had long term goals beyond making her a good rider.  I wanted to help her grow into a strong, independent young woman.  I wanted her to have empathy and respect for animals and for others.  I wanted her to learn to work hard and be proud of what she has achieved.  I wanted her to have positive role models around her, and I knew barn girls would help teach her what she needs to know--about horses and life.  I wanted her to have an older friend like Lexie.

We met Lexie at Graymour Stables, where we board our horses.  Lexie is the kind of young woman I want my two younger barn girls (almost 9 and 10) to be when they are sixteen years old.  Lexie can be counted on.  She is smart, and strong, and accomplished.  If you watch the videos of her in the show ring, you can see that.  She is respectful of others, says "yes, ma'm" and "yes, sir" to adults, and shows younger children that they, too, matter.  She babysits for us, and the girls are thrilled when she comes.  She often acts selflessly, such as the time she cleaned our little Appaloosa Peanut in places I don't have any idea how to clean.  She works hard, feeding horses and cleaning stalls every weekday morning with her mom, Leslie.  I've seen her lead a crew of volunteers in cleaning out the nastiest water troughs--with a smile on her face.  In everything she does, Lexie shows character.  

As a former director of a women's studies program, I know sports helps girls become and stay more of who they are despite the sometimes negative influences that surround them.  The Women's Sports Foundation lists these 25 benefits of girls participating in sports:

1. Sports are FUN.

2. Girls and women who play sports have a more positive body image than girls and women who don't participate.

3. Girls who participate in sports have higher self-esteem and pride in themselves.

4. Research suggests that physical activity is an effective tool for reducing the symptoms of stress and

depression among girls.

5. Playing sports teaches girls how to take risks and be aggressive.

6. Sport is where girls can learn goal-setting, strategic thinking and the pursuit of excellence in performance and other achievement-oriented behaviors—critical skills necessary for success in the workplace. 

7. Playing sports teaches math skills. 

8. Sports help girls develop leadership skills. 

9. Sports teach girls teamwork. 

10. Regular physical activity in adolescence can reduce girls' risk for obesity.

11. Physical activity appears to decrease the initiation of cigarette smoking in adolescent girls.

12. Research suggests that girls who participate in sports are more likely to experience academic success and graduate from high school than those who do not play sports.

13. Teenage female athletes are less than half as likely to get pregnant as female non-athletes (5% and 11%, respectively). 

14. Teenage female athletes are more likely to report that they had never had sexual intercourse than non-athletes (54% and 41%).

15. Teenage female athletes are more likely to experience their first sexual intercourse later in adolescence than female non-athletes.

16. High school sports participation may help prevent osteoporosis.

17. Women who exercise report being happier than those who do not exercise.

18. Women who exercise believe they have more energy and [feel] they [are] in excellent health more often than non-exercising women.

19. Women who [were] active in sports and recreational activities as girls feel greater confidence in their physical and social selves than those who were sedentary as kids.

20. Women who exercise miss fewer days of work. 

21. Research supports that regular physical activity can reduce hyperlipidemia (high levels of fat in blood). 

22. Recreational physical activity may decrease a woman's chance of developing breast cancer.

23. Women who exercise weigh less than non-exercising women.

24. Women who exercise have lower levels of blood sugar, cholesterol, triglycerides and have lower blood pressure than non-exercising women

25. Regular exercise improves the overall quality of life. 

I know the Women's Sports Foundation is right.  I know that riding horses has helped make Lexie the amazing teenage girl that she is. And I want the same for my girls.  

I am also being selfish.  When I was a teenager, I often argued with my mother, as all teenage girls do.  However, we could always talk about horses.  Our shared love of these animals kept us connected at times when other things were pulling us apart.  I want to stay connected to my girls, like my mom did with me.  I want them to know they can count on me, talk to me, come to me when they need me.  Horses can help.  

So I get up at 5:30 on the mornings I don't teach, and I take my girls to the barn to feed horses and muck out stalls.  I take them not only because I want us to contribute to the support and life of our barn, but also because I know they get to hang out with Lexie and the other barn girls.  They learn important skills--and important life lessons.  They grow more each day into the young women they will become.  

They are making me proud.  Like Lexie makes her mom and the barn proud.  And I believe they will continue to do so.